subliminal advertising

WAXE SCRAP NO:105678

Dated: 01/05/2013 (12/3)

SUBJECT: Subliminal advertising

[NOTE: This incomplete excerpt was discovered on 19/06/2106 (25/7). It is supposed that it was part of someone’s public, self-broadcast diary. At this point during the 21st century it is thought that there were many successful, young (teenage) businesspeople. The tone of voice in the excerpt (enlightened yet egotistical) leads us to believe this particular entrepreneur was one of them.]

… unlike many others, I was glad the day the subliminal advertising bill was passed. Of course, I could sympathise with people’s concerns, but if they can’t let go enough to be guided and they want to struggle with their intellect then quite frankly that’s their problem. They have lessons to learn and they must be afforded the time to learn them, but do they have to spoil things for the rest of us? Shouldn’t I be allowed to take in a hundred adverts in just a few seconds if I so wish?

You can imagine the hand-painted signs they were wielding at the protests; ‘OUR MINDS ARE OUR OWN’ and LET ME MAKE MY OWN CHOICES’. They were quite obviously all nonsense that only served to make the bearers look ridiculous to their future, enlightened selves. I saw one that said ‘GIVE US BACK OUR BRAINS’. I mean, who can take your brain? Who would want to?

Of course, the bill would never have been passed if it wasn’t safe, but you can’t talk to scared people about safety. It’s a concept they dupe themselves into not being able to grasp. We’ve all been there, I suppose, but enough already. Just accept that your world DOES revolve around you and take some responsibility. Where’s the trust I ask you?

Personally I had a double interest in the bill. Firstly, I was a time-conscious consumer who wanted the ability to know that a product was out there and have it in my head as an option without having to waste my valuable time and attention actually watching the advert. Just flash it into the side of my field of vision, that’ll do me! I trust that the subconscious will file it away neatly and offer it up at the right time, if the time is ever right. There’s more than enough storage space in there for all the adverts in the world to get lost and never be heard of again. It’s been proven. The subliminal adverts are as effective, or ineffective, as regular adverts with the added bonus that you can be productive at the same time.

My second vested interest in this whole issue stems from the fact that I was about to secure a deal that developed the use of subliminal advertising to make it more effective and no doubt more controversial. I was operating an ethical TV channel and this deal was to prove very lucrative for my beneficiaries. The development was quite simple. It involved shortening the length of the already minute adverts by half and placing them more effectively so that instead of watching five to ten seconds of light-speed mini-adverts between programmes in a block you would pretty much be constantly watching adverts unknowingly. This was the bit that made people wary. Of course, they were severely underestimating the power and capacity of their subconscious.

How it worked was that for every second of TV you watched a maximum of 0.1 seconds would be advertisements, each one lasting up to 0.02 seconds. Our ‘micro-ad’ placement strategies were, in all honesty, pointless, but advertisers need to believe that their advert is purposefully placed for maximum effectiveness. In actual fact this placement makes no difference whatsoever, but it is easier to humour their false logic. In order to purchase an advertising spot there was one rule; there had to be a product of the same category on the screen at the time the advert aired. For example, if somebody on screen was wearing a t-shirt or eating beans or reading a book then you could use that spot to advertise your t-shirts, beans or books.

Viewers don’t notice the adverts when they are on, but they absorb the information subconsciously. The astonishingly positive results of tests were, of course, astonishingly warped by the media to sound negative. Sometimes I just wish the general public would catch up, get enlightened and stop causing themselves discomfort and blaming it on the rest of us. We live in hope.

Our other innovation in advertising is the ‘adscreen’, which is both more exciting and more educational. You purchase a whole separate screen that is 18% the size of your actual TV and place it at the edge of your peripheral vision. The adscreen plays constant educational advertising, each ad lasting up to four times the length of a regular subliminal ad. The colours in these ads can incorporate a wider degree of the spectrum and also sound at certain sub and super sonic frequencies. The potential for unconscious therapy through these screens is vast.

The ‘adscreen’ can be programmed to play other things, which is where its true value lies. You can absorb entire books in minutes, encyclopaedias in hours, languages, academic subjects etc. This should be the primary use of the device, but unfortunately its conception came during a meeting with the Advertiser’s Union who managed to negotiate a deal for two years to use it as primarily an advertising device before this more moral use was made widespread. They are to pay for its initial manufacture and distribution during this time whilst taking 50% control of content. I suppose one thing that never changed during the enlightenment was the fact that money speaks volumes…

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